The Moksha yoga teacher training program requires me to journal once each week about my experience with the poses and assignments + my practice and progress. This is part of that weekly assignment.
It’s been exactly nine months since the opening circle that initiated my journey as a yoga teacher trainee at Moksha. Nine months. That’s the same amount of time it takes for a human fetus to fully develop in the womb.
While I don’t feel like I’ve really “mothered” anything just yet, I do share that feeling of the exhaustion and exhilaration that comes with creation.
This past week, it’s more exhaustion than anything.
My dad likened it to working two jobs: I have my full-time, very corporate media gig; and I have this yoga vocation, to better myself and heal others. Both are super, super demanding. But I refuse, at this point, to give either up. I suppose they are both my “children,” and if I were to be put in a Sophie’s Choice situation … well, I don’t even want to hypothesize about that.
But I do need a second wind. My journey with the Moksha teacher training program is far from complete. I’ve just crept over the halfway mark. I’ll spend this summer teaching karma/community classes, working on a thesis project and completing my final project. I also have a second apprenticeship to complete.
And did I mention that I’m exhausted?
In four days I leave for Greece — Santorini, to be exact. I hope to harness the energy of this beautifully exotic locale while on a yoga retreat with Shiva Rea, and re-discover the strength within me. A week of yoga and meditation should provide me with this much-needed second wind … or will it OD me on yoga?
I wonder if anyone else in my teacher trainee group feels this way. I bumped into two of my teacher trainee peers at the Wanderlust Yoga Chicago festival this afternoon — and it got me missing that sanga. Now that we’ve ended the training classes and are in an “independent study” mode, we don’t talk have an automatic time/place to meet-discuss-share-vent-shine.
When I get back from Greece, I’d like to have everyone over. It would be great to get the gang back together, all 25+ of us. Only we can best understand what each other is going through, after all …