What to do, what to do, what to do.  I made a risky request, and was denied.

I have a heavy heart right now, as I contemplate my next step.  Whatever it is, I have faith that it will be “right.”  It’s just being in the throes of the decision-making that proves stressful, and knowing the risk that ultimately comes with each option.

I should be focusing on the inherent opportunities with each option — that’s what someone with a sunny, carefree disposition would do, right?  Unfortunately, it’s what I stand to give up that pierce my heart, just as those (still hypothetical) things weigh it down.  Either direction I take will require a “giving up” of some degree.

It’s a blessing and curse to be so practical and methodical.  I am so grateful for my life as it is, but I seek more, and seek to give back.  I’m at a crossroads where I will need to either make a compromise with myself, my family and my job — or do something radical.  Now that I’m confronted with the reality of the situation, I’m not confident that I’m capable of the radical choice.  Damn you, practicality 😉

I just want to find a compromise that won’t inspire regret later on — one that stays true to my spirit while keeping me afloat in the realities of this world.

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